Personal reflection

My Best Friend, My Worst Nightmare.

        It all started three years ago. My feel slowly started to rotate until I lost all confine and it turned completely up-side-down.

I started lying, sneaking and cheating myself over something as insignificant as the air we breathe. It began as a counseling of evading my reality of pressures and expectations that no one could possibly understand. It gave me that sense of bid that had eluded me.

Only now do I realise what it was. It was an eating disorder, a disease that if not experienced could never be imagined. This fixing was a way of proving to me that I wasnt perfect like anyone told me I was. I had secrets. Some so deep they still pall me. I spiralled into a state of oblivion where every someone that meant so a lot to me was just a blur, a admonisher of the realm Id left behind. They were inconsequential. My new world was controlled by negativity, disillusions and my malformed perspective of the real world and the people in it. I was falling with no one to save me.

I hated myself for it and in the end gave up. I allowed a voice inside my head to win over me that all that was left was worthless. This monster had infested my every thought and every action without remorse.



        

Now, every time I look into a mirror I still see a female child troubled by the scars this fiend has left. Still wondering wherefore something as uncomplicated as eating caused her so much pain. I dont know why people do this to themselves. I dont know why we must be cruel and work on ourselves suffer as a price for our own deception. I had discovered that my comforter, my best friend was now,my worst...

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