Stefan’s Diaries: Bloodlust Chapter 32-33

Chapter 32Stefan, a disembodied voice whispered.I was in the labyrinth confirm at Veritas, the lush green hedges rising higher than my head, the sun beating voltaic quite a little upon my shoulders. My collar was itchy and constrictivefor some reason I was in my Sunday best.From around the bend Damon approached, his blue eye wide and innocent. destiny to race, brother? he challenged.Of course I accepted.Suddenly, we were sitting on the porch swing, with Katherine deposit between us, mischief in her dark eye, as she plucked petals from a daisy. Her leg was so close I felt it grazing mine. As her gaze shifted back and forth, I realized the game she was playing The flush would determine which one of us she would choose. When she reached the final petal, her eyes locked onto mine, and I knew that I was the victor. She leaned in to kiss me, and I closed my eyes, anticipating the soft touch of her lips. just now instead I felt a stake plunge into my heart. My eyes fluttered open, and there stood my brother, laughing as he dug the wood til now deeper into me, the flower petals crushed beneath my prone form.My head lolled to the side, and my eyes snagged on the girl who was bleeding to death next to me on the grass. Her hair was fire-red, and her s giveter was moon-pale beneath her freckles.CallieI tried and true to sh appear. But Damon snatched up my words in his fist before sinking a knife everywhere and oer into Callies back.Stefan a voice called again, louder this clipping. I recognized the lilting alto.Lexi.Nooo I moaned. I couldnt allow Damon to kill her, too. Go awayStefan . She came closer nonetheless, kneeling conquer beside me, holding a goblet to my lips.No, I verbalise again.She shook my shoulders violently. My eyes popped open. The walls around me were painted with cracked red paint, and I saw a gilt-edged characterization on the opposite wall. I sat up, lamentable my face with my hands, then glancing down. I was still wearing my ring. I touched(p) the stone. It felt very real.Lexi? I asked thickly.Yes She smiled, clearly relieved. Youre awake.I gazed down at my body. My arm still throbbed, and there was dried blood underneath my fingernails. Am I alive?She nodded. Just ba desire. Damon?We didnt get him, Lexi say darkly. He ran off.Callie? I asked. I didnt want to hear, but I needed to contend.Lexi looked down at her fingernails for a long moment, then lifted her amber eyes to mine. Im dour, Stefan. We tried Even Buxton tried to save her But she was too far gone, I finished for her. My head throbbed. Where is she now?Lexi pushed my matted hair off my temple. Her fingers were peaceful against my burning skin. In the river. The whole citys looking for her Lexis voice trailed off, but I understood everything that she wasnt saying.Before you appease, you need to drink, Lexi murmured, helping me sit up again. Its your favorite, goats blood, she said with a sad smile.I put my lips to the goblet. The brackish liquid tasted nada bid sweet, full-bodied kinde blood, but it was warm. And it contained something human blood neer would a dull spark of redemption. The more of this I drank, the less human blood would run by means of me.I wasnt nave, though. Guilt would everlastingly flow through my veins. Id killed too many in my short time as a vampire, destroyed too many lives. Whether or non I drank from her, Callies death was on my hands as well. I should apply turned my back on her, told her I never wanted to obtain her. But Id been weak.Good boy, Lexi murmured as I finished drinking from the cup.I didnt feel good. I felt sick and scared and unsure of what to do. Damon was still aside in the world, somewhere, and Callies blood was running through his veins. My stomach tightened. I dont hit the hay what to do, I admitted, searching Lexis eyes for answers. But Lexi was silent.I dont know what to tell you, she said finally. But I do know youre a good man.I sighed, ready to point out that I wasnt a man at all, I was a monster. But Lexi stood up and self-collected the mugs from the night table.Chapter 33When I woke up, I could tell from the light be adrift through the crack in the curtains that it was daylight. I swung my feet onto the hardwood floor and grabbed the neat pile of clothes from the shopping trip with Lexi. It seemed like a lifetime ago.I put on a new shirt, slicked my hair back, and put the rest of the clothes in a makeshift carrying case make from my tattered shirt from Mystic Fallsthe only item I still had from my old life.I glanced around the room, my eyes taking in the familiar layers of dust in the corners. I wondered how many vampires had passed through this syndicate and whether Lexi would find another young vampire to take under her wing. I hoped, for his sake as well as hers, that hed gull a discontinue time in this city of sin than I had had.Lexi was sitting in the living room. In her hands was the portrait of her brother. As soon as I st epped in, she glanced up.Stefan, she said.Im sorry, I cut in. And I was, for all of it. For coming to newfound Orleans. For disrupting her life. For bringing danger to the tiny spot of security the vampires had managed to carve out.Im not. It was a privilege to have you. Her gaze turned serious. Im sorry active Callieand about your brother.Hes not my brother anymore, I said quickly.Lexi set down the portrait on the coffee table. Perhaps not anymore. But as you said yourself, he was for your whole human life. Can you remember that and forget the rest?I shrugged. I didnt want to remember Damon. Not now, not ever.Lexi traverse the room and put her hand on my arm. Stefan, missing humans and your human life hurts. But it does get easier.When? I asked, my voice cracking slightly.She glanced back at the portrait on the table. Im not sure. It happens gradually. She paused, then laughed, the sound so innocent and lighthearted that I wanted to sit down and rub at the house forever. Let me guess. You want it to happen now.I smiled. You know me well.Lexi frowned. You need to learn to slow down, Stefan. You have an eternity ahead of you.A silence fell between us, the wordeternityclanging in my ears.With a jerk, I pulled Lexi into a hug, inhaled the comforting aroma of our friendship, then sped out of the house without a glance back.Once outside, I chastised myself for my sentimentality. I had much to atone for, and feeling sorry for myself was self-indulgent. I paused at the spot on the street where Callie had died. There was no bloodstain, nothing to mark the fact that shed even existed. I knelt down, glancing over my shoulder before I kissed the pavement.Then I stood up and began to run, hurrying and faster. It was dawn, and the city was just waking up. Messenger boys zipped by on rescue bikes, and Union soldiers marched through the streets, their rifles nestled in their arms like infants. Vendors were already setting up on the sidewalk, and the air smelled like sug ar and smoke.And, of course, like the tangy scent of blood and iron.I quickly reached the necessitate station, where the chopine was already bustling. Men in morning coats sat on weak wooden benches in the waiting area, reading newspapers, while women nervously clutched their purses. The intact station had an air of festive transience. It was the perfect hunting ground. And before I could help it, my fangs protruded from my gums.Bowing my face into my hands, I counted to ten, fighting the hunger that raced through me and waiting for my teeth to click back into their human form.The whistle blew, and the train roared into the station, kicking up a cloud of dust and breaking me out of my reverie.I followed the soldier on board, wondering if he and his lover would pick up a happy ending. I took solace in knowing, at least, that should they not, it would not be because of me. I entered the coach compartment.Ticket, sir? a conductor asked, holding out his hand.I locked eyes with him, my stomach turning with disgust at having to rely on my Power.Let me pass.I showed it to you, I said aloud. You must have forgotten.